I am proud to announce that I have just recently joined most of the rest of you inhabitants in this century with the acquisition of a big screen HDTV (to the rest of you (and I hope I wasn’t the only one left), who still don’t have big screen HDTV’s: Yes, I completely understand that it is very frustrating, I know, I know. Nerny ner ner!)

After to futzing around with the location of the tv and component rack, and then some wiring issues, finally, pure, glorious television bliss.

Just don’t show me Bizarre Foods on this.

Instead of going to all of the bother to do a rain dance American Indians should have just washed their horses.

This morning I washed my BMW.

I have just been at Tom Thumb to get some Miller Chill, organic orange juice, and trash bags. Therefore, it was a quick in and out - I was not taking the scenic route.

When I came out of Tom Thumb, not five minutes after I went in, I noticed that the sky was very gray. I picked up my stride hoping to get the newly washed Bimmer back home before the sky opened up. Of course, as soon as I got out from under the cover of the store I felt the wet sprinkling on my face and arms. By the time I got to it, the BMW already had a decent collection of droplets beading up on it.

I drove home muttering under my breath, which of course prompted the clouds to let it fly. Immediately, I was in a downpour and the muttering became energized cursing.

As soon as I pulled the car into the garage, the clouds parted to reveal beautiful blue sky and the sun shone through.

Someone up there has a sick sense of humor.

Thanks for stopping by and remember: Never buy a car you cannot push.

Click for larger image

This is actually primitive photo-shopping. It is two picture prints, one of a coastline, and one of a Kult poster hanging on a wall. The post was cut from its picture with scissors and glued onto the coastline picture!

Thanks for stopping by and remember: Friendly fire - isn’t.

Finally, with my new BMW I get a chance to use the Elitist ArmorAll!

Thanks for stopping by and remember:If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them.

Not Safe For Work (Language)

I never realized how frequently this word was said in the movie, until everything else was filtered out.

Thanks to Crickie whom brought this to my attention.

Thanks for stopping by and remember: Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

We had dinner this evening with my in-laws, grand mom and stepdaughter at Gloria’s to celebrate my Mother-in-Law’s birthday.

I always enjoy seeing the family, and this evening was no exception.

My wife had spent the day with her mother whom appeared to have had a great time and was quite happy - and was equally thrilled with the end-of-meal “Happy Birthday” song from all the staff at Gloria’s (plus a kiss on the cheek from our waiter I might add ) and the World Famous Chocolate Flan complete with birthday candle probably didn’t go astray either.

For those of you unfamiliar with Gloria’s, they specialize in Salvadorian food (with secondary Tex-Mex fallback just incase you turn your nose up at the principal offerings).

Being my first real exposure to Salvadorian fare, I opted for the Gloria’s Super Special: a sample platter of their “para empezar” (appetizers), which were perfect for me because I enjoy exploring new flavors when possible.

Including:

• Chicken Tamale: I have certainly had tamales before. This was quite good. I enjoyed that the casing for the chicken was significantly less firm that I have experienced in the past (almost Jell-O-like), and very tasty.
• Cheese Pupusa: Which is a hand-made tortilla stuffed with cheese. I expected not to like this, but it was more tasty than I thought it would be though still a little bland. They have pork as well as pork and cheese variations that I am sure would have much more flavor.
• Fried Yuca: I have never had Yuca before, and it tasted similar to fried potato. Quite good.
• Fried Plantain: Surprisingly, these had much more flavor (and color) than I was expecting. Quite rich and quite tasty.

I had a great time with the new tastes. However, I was most impressed with the samples of outside skirt steak that I got to taste from my mother-in-law’s order (Churrasco Tipico, if I remember correctly). That, dipped in the side of Chimichurri Sauce sent waves of pleasure from my taste buds to my brain.

What a wonderful way to spend an evening, with family, exploring new foods.

Thanks for stopping by and remember: You’re driving a car. It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.

Oh good lord in the heavens above! I’ve been maimed! Seriously injured! Or at least made to feel quite out of sorts!

Oh, how can I go on? The horrors that I have seen… the nightmares that will permeate my very soul from this day onward in my now marked life.

I could not take it anymore. The existence of a Hell Aperture in the close vicinity of my workplace, the knowledge that I had not spared a poor innocent. It was too much, do you hear me?! Too much!

I had to do something about this menace to the well being of society. I had to confront the heathen bull god that inhabited the depths of this abysmal pit. I had to go in!

Besides, I was somewhat curious about how they decorated in the bowels of hell.

I went forth packed to the hilt with weaponry. Accompanying me on my adventure, I had stuffed the following into my jeans pockets (as recommended by Mother-in-Law):

• 1 x Bottle of Holy Water (actually I couldn’t find any churches nearby so I got some water out of the work water fountain and filled up my Metromint bottle with it while intoning things like “Now I lay me down to sleep” etc)
• 1 x Cross (actually, I couldn’t come up with a cross and I couldn’t rustle up anything to substitute, so I didn’t really have this at all)
• 1 x Bag of Spicy Crackers (hint) (actually, I ate all of them. Which is a shame; they would have come in very handy for leaving a cracker trail while wandering amongst the mazes of hell, and for mid-afternoon snacks)
• 1 x Bag of Killer Hot Peppers from the In-Laws’ Gardens (good lord no, that would just be mean).

Feeling brave and well equipped for my journey (I even remembered to tie my shoelaces as Chickie had advised me to do in case I needed to make a hasty retreat, though I may have been somewhat confused as to what exactly she meant), I went up to the Hell Aperture and poked a stick up in there (as recommended by Chickie (certified Demon/Devil/”Strange guy that smells like farts” Exorcist).

At first, I smelt sulfur. Then I saw two glowing eyes at then end of the Aperture.

Then there was a rushing noise.

And then…

…I was knocked onto my ass.

After which I promptly pee’d my pants (which is thankfully not captured in that picture), wailed like a little girl, and ran away ran away (after untying my shoes, thanks a LOT, Chickie!).

The hell aperture can stay. And eat all the little innocents it likes. And spit out all the bunnies it wants (because Crickie thinks it doesn’t like bunnies… no I am not wearing a bunny suit next time!).

A special G’day to my Mother-In-Law whose birthday it was yesterday! Hope you had a wonderful birthday Mom, and hope that you got a kick out of this post (but not as much of a kick as I got!)

Thanks for stopping by and remember: Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art.

You may recall that I went through a storm that took out my power not to long ago. Part of the time the power was out I decided to go tour the neighborhood to see what else had happened of note.

This was the only major damage I found, but it was a beauty:

A significant lower branch of some substance was ripped from its former home and deposited neatly on top of a stop sign. As you can imagine, the stop sign didn’t put up too much of a fight:

Thanks for stopping by and remember: I’m a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore … (don’t make me spell it out).

A yellow post-it note with green writing, apparently discarded onto the ground by my car in the parking lot, politely asked me not to touch it. Of course, you know what I did do:

I am such a rebel.

Thanks for stopping by and remember: Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.

It appears that there has been a victim, I am saddened to say, at the Hell Aperture.

I feel somewhat responsible. I posted warning about it here on my blog, a site that gets a handful of traffic a day, and thought that I was doing a good deed. Of course, I didn’t reach this poor helpless soul.

A small child no less, by the look of the small teddy bear, the only thing that marks its rending from this world. Ripped away from the innocence that probably clutched it bravely right up until the end.

Damn that heathen bull god.

This will not stand. I will confront this monstrosity!

I feel sick.

Thanks for stopping by and remember: Wrong numbers are never busy… what’s up with that?