I took another look at the “new” project, today (which I called the “looming project” back on The Guts Of Life), and discovered that perhaps my piece of leather is a little more sturdy and my limestone a little more sharper than I first imagined. It is a project that I have worked on before and having completed my end, was waiting for a coworker to complete. That coworker is no longer with the company and so it falls on me to take the job across the finish line. All that I need to do is work out how to get it there. Unfortunately, its new territory for me, but I may be in better shape than I imagined.

Speaking of David & Goliath – which I allude to in describing this project to you – I recently learned (while watching and episode of Globe Trekker), that Michelangelo’s David was actually a representation of David from the David and Goliath tale! I do not feel like a complete dolt about this, thankfully, because this was also news to my intelligent and very knowledgeable wife.

When I got home this evening my wife (whom has hair more beautiful than Josie Lawrence), had prepared delightfully odd little cookies (biscuits, for my Aussie readers) made from slices of sweet potatoes dunked in orange juice and coated in crushed soy nuts, sesame seeds, cinnamon and then baked. You should try them some time.

On the walking front, a slack night last night. 1.72 miles. 1.84 miles this evening. A little disappointing that in my allotted 30 minutes, I could not get it just .01 miles further than Tuesday’s effort. Still no page that I can monitor my progress on (nor that you can sticky beak at), as I have not had the time, but it is on the list.

I have also been a little distracted lately with FarCry. You know, the first person shooter where you are hired by this woman to take her on a sailboat cruise around an island only to get your sailboat shot at by a missile when she goes for a dive (which results in you going for a dive). When you wash up on the island, you discover that it is apparently some base of operations for a mercenary army, but later it transforms into an Island of Dr. Moreau storyline. Now I have just been past the “reveal” in some cordoned off scientific laboratory area where the animal-man-beasts rear their VERY ugly heads and am now working out the extent of WTF is going on.

Yeah yeah, I know it is an old game. I played it when it originally came out, but for some reason I recently dug it up out of storage and started playing it again.

I rounded out the evening with a very fun game of online Spades with Crickie (we won a match, yay!). Mom, we should challenge Geo and Amy to a game next time GMom is not up to playing, and we will show them whom the bosses of the card table really are.

It is so not impressive discovering a growing number of gray hairs in your mustache.

Introducing your boss and a co-worker to the sublime taste of edamame is enjoyable.

The boss had expressed doubts about them before ordering, so I made sure we got some.

Watching the boss first try to determine how they were eaten (they were still in their pods), and then observing her realize that they were actually very good was a pleasure.

The Pad Thai was not too shabby either.

My stepdaughter visited last night with her friends. It was good seeing her. It has been a couple of weeks since I saw her last, and probably several months since I had seen her friends.

At one point, I discovered her standing in the middle of our newly redecorated office. She said that the room had seemed much bigger when it was her bedroom. I had not the heart to tell her that we had shrunken the room as part of the redecoration (in order to give more space to the living room), so instead I told her that it was probably the darker paint scheme. She would probably be pissed for some reason if she knew the truth.

I have been walking / jogging almost regularly during weeknights for the past several weeks. Well - occasionally, Friday decides to give me the evening off. Still, that is a mighty improvement over my past lack of athletic endeavors.

This evening I tromped out 1.84 miles. Yesterday evening, 1.74 miles.

3.58 miles in two days.

I am happy with that, though I feel the pressure to eek out more tomorrow evening. I present to you masochism at its finest. *bows*

I should probably create a page where I can record my journey so that I at least have something quasi-tangible to mark my passage over all of these miles.

You could have a sticky beak too if you desired.

Today while vacuuming the house I accumulated enough cat hair to form a new cat.

Now all I need is some electrodes, a kite, a psychotic brain (preferably not currently being used), a machine that goes “ping”, a storm, and a maniacal laugh.

Then I will be set.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, Reality is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.

Sort of.

If you look over to the right, just under the main banner picture, you’ll see a new section now debuting on The Scott English Show.

See that RANDOM SHALLOW THOUGHTS heading? Yah, you got it.

Every time that you visit, you’ll find a randomly selected Shallow Thought displayed here. Yes, these are my own thoughts. And yes, they are shallow. I am a shallow sort of guy.

My influences for writing them are Jack Handy, Lazyboy and Mitch Hedburg. Although those are are big shoes to fill, especially Mitch’s whom was brilliant, they are unique to me. And while I could easily quote some geezer that didn’t live in the same freaking century as me, this blog is about my life, so you are going to get me spouting off in this compressed space, as well as the usually retarded posts.

So join me in welcoming the Shallow Thoughts out of the archives and into the blog realtime.

And yes, I am updating them regularly. The astute reader may even notice a few new ones immediately. But if you get the same old ones all the time. Don’t complain, take comfort in knowing that the universe - or at least my blog is unfolding it as it should.

Let me know what you think of this new addition to The Scott English Show (yes, go on, click the link to see another Shallow Thought) (ok, click it one more time)(stop clicking, I haven’t written that many new ones yet).

Thanks for stopping by, and remember: Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

Yes. I do!

Although I did not a few days ago.

A couple of weekends ago, there was a horrendous smell of gas around the entrance to our garage. A call into the Gas Company, and about thirty minutes later we have a person in a pale blue shirt and dark blue shorts confirming that we do indeed have a gas leak.

And he promptly cuts our gas off.

Useful? No.

We did not blow up though. Not blowing up was extremely useful.

And we were able to at least scrounge enough hot water out of the hot water heater to get a bath in.

The next day I had to work from home and call around to plumbers. Yes. Plumbers. Apparently, plumbers are the people that work on gas lines. There are not really any gas line people. Though, I began to wonder. Considering the number of plumbers that I called whom declined my offer for work because they do not work on gas lines. There may be a niche market in there somewhere.

That afternoon, the plumber arrived, dug up my yard (with much more efficiency than it took me to get my yard to the state I was proud of), said that I did indeed have a leak, and went off to get materials.

I was figuring that was all that I would see of him that day.

However, he did indeed come back. Repaired the leak in the “riser” (translation: the pipe that comes out of the ground and goes into your house), and then pressure tested the entire house.

Three leaks later, he gave me the clean bill of health, said he would call the job into the city to inspect, and told me what to do tomorrow.

Wait.

Tomorrow?

Dammit, I was going to have to work from home again tomorrow as well? Life is cruel!

And do you know how many kettles of boiling water it takes to get a tub with minimum batheable hot water is?

Lots.

And then some.

Early the next day I discovered that I had a green tag on my gas meter (translation: the city inspected and approved the work). I called the power company, and the plumber. The gas company to come hook my smelly shit back up. The plumber to come fill in my yard.

A different gas company person (still complete with pale blue shirt and dark blue shorts) finally arrived that afternoon and even did me the courtesy of restarting my hot water heater (something that always makes me nervous).

By the time it got dark, there was no sign from the plumber.

I contemplated taking out some of the skeletons we keep stashed in the closet to bury in the hole under the cover of darkness, or even putting up a sign in the yard offering, “Discount corpse burial.”

However, before I could act on it, the next evening when I got home from work, I guess the plumber had shown up and filled in the hole.

Now I am all gassy, and quite happy about it.

Thanks for stopping by, and remember: We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

A wonderful light lunch like this Autumn Fruit Salad is yummy:

Takes some slices of oranges and apple and fan them on a bed of lettuce. Sprinkle some toasted pumpkin seeds and quartered figs on top. Finally drizzle a dressing of apple juice, lime juice, mustard and ground fennel on top.

Very tasty!

Thanks for stopping by, and remember: An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.

The number one way to avoid embarrassment at the gas pump (or wherever you drive) is not to drive one of these:

I see this car drive up and my imagination takes over…

There is a cute blond behind the wheel. Her smile is almost too perfect and she has the deepest azure eyes that I have ever experienced.

She parks.

There is a strangely familiar song muted but still quite audible coming from the car’s stereo system. Suddenly a giant hand descends from the clouds, opens the driver side door, and plucks the blond out of the car and …

and…

waddles her around to the front of the car, and then lifts her right arm, which rises as stiff as a crane.

Finally, the guiding hand rocks the blonde’s body left and right so that in a strange way she seems to be waving at me.

Then it comes to me, the music coming from the car’s stereo is clear now that the door is open.

“Im a barbie girl, in a barbie world”

Thanks for stopping by, and remember: If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?